How To Make a Horror Movie and Survive By Craig DiLouie
Good Idea, Poor Execution
How to Make a Horror Movie and Survive has an intriguing concept but doesn’t know what to do with it. The protagonist, Max Maurey, is a jaded horror director who has reaped profits from his ’80s slasher series, Jack the Knife.
In the world of this novel, Jack is one of the world’s top horror icons along with Jason, Michael, and Freddy. The third installment has just been released to box office success, but Max is unsatisfied. The series has devolved into camp, much to his chagrin. He longs to make something original and truly terrifying.
Max gains possession of a camera that recorded an infamous fatal movie set accident in the ’70s. What he doesn’t know is that the camera is cursed and capable of killing.
Meanwhile Sally Priest, a horror actress know for playing bad girls, is hoping to play the final girl in Max’s new film. She is determined to earn the role no matter what she has to do to get it. Sally’s mother, a former actress, hates horror and tries to pry Sally away from Max.
One of the problems with How To Make A Horror Movie and Survive is that it’s bland and generic. If you asked an AI program to write a novel about horror movies, it would spit out dreck similar to this. The characters are shallow and stereotypical. It’s written in an amateurish and simplistic style. I haven’t read the author’s other books, but he aimed low, and I mean LOW, with this one.
There isn’t anybody to relate to here, just a bunch of cartoon caricatures that I didn’t care about. On the plus side, it’s easy to read – it’s just challenging to care enough to continue.
The author clearly researched the history of horror films and makes many references to real-life movies. I enjoyed these mentions but, like the characters, they seem superficial. The author doesn’t show a genuine love for the genre. It’s like he just made a few Google searches and then copied the info he found.
This is wannabe horror fiction, not the real thing. This novel is never scary and rarely funny. The author may have intended it as a satirical send up of Hollywood, but it’s not witty enough to pull that off. If you want to read a slasher novel, My Heart is a Chainsaw is way better.
This feels like a cheap cash grab that was thrown together as quickly as possible. A belated attempt is made to spice the story up at the end, with mystical mumbo jumbo about spells and astral travel.
Rating
How To Make a Horror Movie and Survive fails as both horror and satire. There’s no point in bothering with it, especially when there are so many better options out there.
Rating from 1 (avoid at all costs( to 10 (masterpiece): 3
