5 Retro Hospital Horror Movies Ranked
Let’s face it – hospitals are terrifying! Even if you’re receiving top notch care from compassionate and competent doctors and nurses, hospitals are among the scariest places on the planet. Honestly, it’s amazing to me that there aren’t more hospital horror movies.
This isn’t a list about insane asylums. There are plenty of horror films set in those places. I’m taking about regular hospitals, the kind that people visit for everything from a routine physical to heart surgery.
Here are five retro hospital horror movies ranked. I didn’t start out planning to make this exclusively about older films, but I couldn’t find any recent flicks that were worth writing about.
5. x-ray (1981)
In 1961, young Susan rejects the advances of a boy on Valentine’s Day. Enraged, the jilted kid murders the guy she likes by hanging him from the ceiling. In 1980, Susan (Barbi Benton), now a grown woman with a daughter, a boyfriend, and an ex-husband, visits a hospital for what is supposed to be a routine physical.
A man in a surgical mask kills the doctor who is supposed to see Susan and hides her body. He lurks inside the hospital, slicing a series of victims with a variety of surgical weapons. Gee, could this have something to do with the jealous kid from Susan’s past?
Meanwhile, a group of doctors puzzle over Susan’s test results, which have been changed by the killer. They insist that Susan stay in the hospital until they figure out what’s going on. Dr. Saxon (John Warner Williams) performs a bizarre exam on Susan that seems more sexual than medical.
X-Ray, which is also known by the alternate title Hospital Massacre, is, to my knowledge, the only Valentine’s Day hospital horror film. That’s a very specific niche – like how Anna and the Apocalypse is the only Christmas zombie musical.
This movie is a decent way to spend 90 minutes, if you can overlook the story’s numerous implausible turns. X-Ray makes a heavy handed attempt to make everyone look guilty except the actual killer.
Dr. Saxon is a creep whose interest in Susan’s body is definitely not just medical. The nurses are annoying and useless, the other patients are shrill and obnoxious, and there’s a drunk perverted orderly who is this movie’s version of the classic “creepy janitor red herring” slasher trope.
Unfortunately, the character who ends up being the culprit is so forgettable that my initial reaction was “huh?”. I had forgotten all about him.
X-Ray is a really weird slasher. I would even go so far as describe some parts as Lynchian, although this movie doesn’t have a shred of the artistry or imagination of the late David Lynch’s work.
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4. visiting hours (1982)
Deborah Ballin (Lee Grant) is a journalist who is targeted by Colt (Michael Ironside), a violent psychopath, because of her outspoken feminist beliefs. She survives a bloody attack in her home and is transported to the hospital.
The maniac pursues her there, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. Deborah and a young nurse, Sheila (Linda Purl), team up to defeat the psycho.
Visiting Hours is a typical golden age slasher flick except for the surprisingly prominent cast. Most slashers of that era were populated with unknowns. Along with Ironside and Grant, William Shatner also has a major role. It’s not often that you see multiple award-winning veteran performers in a low budget ’80s slasher.
Visiting Hours is a decent option if you’re looking for a gory hospital horror film. It’s similar to X-Ray but more straightforward and better acted.
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3. dr giggles (1992)
Dr. Giggles (Larry Drake) escapes from a mental institution and goes on a rampage. The doctor is out….of his mind! He eventually targets this movie’s final girl, Jennifer (Holly Marie Combs), and her friends.
This was one of several ’90s horror flicks about slasher villains with seemingly innocuous jobs (The Dentist, The Ice Cream Man). The ’80s are the era most closely associated with campy horror, but the ’90s certainly had its share as well.
Larry Drake’s demented performance makes Dr. Giggles a “so bad it’s good” cheese fest that’s not to be missed by anyone who enjoys this type of movie.
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2. horror hospital (1973)
Jason Jones (Robin Askwith), a struggling English songwriter, decides to take a vacation. He is convinced by a travel agent to visit a remote “health hospital” called Brittlehurst Manor. While on the train, he meets a cute girl, Judy (Vinessa Shaw), who is also headed to the manor to meet her aunt, who works at the facility.
Jason quickly becomes suspicious after arriving at the manor, and for good reason. It’s far from a conventional hospital. The manor is a weird clinic run by a cultlike figure, Dr. Christian Storm (Michael Gough), and populated by a bunch of brainwashed zombie-like patients.
The villains in this movie are cartoonish James Bond-style characters, which I enjoyed. This is fun Sean Connery Bond era stuff. I got a kick out of seeing Michael Gough, who played Alfred Pennyworth in the ’90s Batman movies, as an evil mastermind, even though his master plan never made much sense to me.
This movie shows its age with the Judy character. She’s a classic damsel in distress who is completely dependent on Jason to protect and save her. Vinessa Shaw isn’t given much to do except scream and look pretty.
There’s plenty of gore, although the blood in Horror Hospital is too damn red. It looks like paint. Hell, maybe it was paint.
Where to watch:
1. Halloween II (1981)
What else could top my hospital horror movies list but a movie that’s been one of my favorite slashers since childhood? Odds are high that most of the people reading this have already seen Halloween II, but if you somehow haven’t, it’s set on the same night as the first movie and involves Michael Myers tracking Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) to the local hospital.
Michael finds many creative uses for the hospital’s medical equipment, but he runs into trouble when the venerable Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance) tracks him down. The explosive climax was initially intended to end the Michael Myers saga for good, but we all know how that turned out.
The scenes where Michael slowly stalks Laurie through the hospital is some of the most tense stuff in the entire franchise. Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence give it their all in one of the few worthy sequels to the original Halloween.
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