Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)
The World’s First Killer Santa Robot Movie!
Sure, we’ve seen evil Santas before, but have we seen a cyborg Santa decimate the population of a small town on Christmas Eve? I think not!
Christmas Bloody Christmas is like what would happen if you combined Silent Night Deadly Night with The Terminator. It stars Riley Dandy as Tori, a hard-drinking, foul-mouthed record store manager who engages in a ferocious battle against the metal monstrosity after it brutally slaughters everyone she cares about.
I love anti-hero final girls who subvert the traditional slasher tropes. Tree from Happy Death Day, Chelsea from The Ranger, and Maxine from X are some great examples. Tori is a strong one as well. Riley Dandy gives a wildly intense performance as an irreverent party animal who adores booze, sex, and movie trivia.
As for the plot, well, there isn’t much of one. The movie suggests that the robotic Santa was made by the U.S. Department of Defense. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe they were creating an army of Santas to fight terrorists? The movie mentions that a recall of the robots is currently underway because of malfunctions.
We never really get a clear explanation for why the robot goes on a killing spree. I suppose that doesn’t matter in a movie like this. Nobody is going to watch it expecting logic and realism.
The dialogue is surprisingly clever and fun. Tori and her employee/quasi-love interest Robbie (Sam Delich) have a fun banter. Their dialogue sounds like real conversations you would hear if you were hanging out at a bar late on a holiday evening. Most movies only include dialogue that serves the plot. Tori and Robbie sound like real people.
Christmas Bloody Christmas ends with an extended one on one battle between Tori and Santa. With everyone else dead and the town buried in a snowstorm, it’s a bloody fight to the end. It’s always fun when a slasher movie features an extended cat and mouse battle like this.
I admire this movie’s brutality and relentlessness. This is one naughty Santa. No one is safe from his razor sharp axe. He’s bulletproof, fireproof, and incredibly hard to destroy. Not to mention that he can shoot freakin’ laser beams out of his eyes! There were multiple moments when I was convinced Tori had finally finished him off, only for him to rise again.
Rating
Christmas Bloody Christmas won’t win any awards for intelligence, but it’s a wildly entertaining rollercoaster ride with Riley Dandy giving it her all in the main role.
Rating from 1(avoid at all costs) to 10 (masterpiece): 7.5
