Blood Relatives (2023)

blood relatives movie review — Jane (Victoria Moroles) and Francis (Noah Segan) in *Blood Relatives*. Photo: Shudder

Vampire Families Can Be Just as Dysfunctional As Human Ones!

Blood Relatives is a lighthearted horror-comedy about a father-daughter vampire duo who embark on a bloody road trip. It stars Noah Segan, who also wrote and directed. Segan plays Francis, an affable Yiddish vampire from the 19th century. He cruises through the American heartland in his classic muscle car, preying on transients and other folks who he assumes no one will miss.

Noah seems content to continue his loner existence, but his life changes when he meets a daughter he never knew he had. Jane (Victoria Moroles) is a teenage human/vampire hybrid. She has inherited her father’s thirst for blood and superhuman strength. Thanks to being half-human on her mother’s side, Jane can survive exposure to sunlight. She doesn’t have to hide during the day like her dad.

Unfortunately Jane is also mortal. Unlike her father, she will eventually grow old. For now, though, she’s a spunky sixteen year old who is desperate to develop an emotional connection with her long-lost dad.

The “sassy wisecracking teenage girl sidekick” archetype has been featured in countless movies, but Moroles puts her own unique spin on it. Blood Relatives is Segan’s brainchild, but it’s Moroles who delivers the film’s most memorable performance. Her character is a novice vampire who struggles to control her burgeoning bloodlust.

A Shallow But Fun Dark Comedy

Blood Relatives is filled with fun darkly comic moments. After killing and exsanguinating numerous people, Jane suggests that they should feed on animals instead. Her dad disagrees and explains that he’ll lose his hair and get fat if he doesn’t drink healthy human blood.

This is Segan’s directorial debut. Like many first-time directors, he struggles to maintain a consistent tone. This movie is a jumbled mish mash of disparate elements. It tries to be a horror movie, a slapstick comedy, and a serious meditation on loneliness and the importance of family.

Blood Relatives is often funny, never scary, and rarely has anything important to say. Segan has crafted an enjoyable film, but not one with genuine emotional depth.

As pure entertainment, Blood Relatives mostly works because of the sparkling chemistry between Segan and Moroles. They are a believable team and have an easy rapport. These bloodsuckers are quite likeable despite being amoral monsters.