7 Wild Birthday Horror Movies Ranked
There are horror films about virtually every holiday and special day, but birthday horror movies are a special breed. Some feature protagonists in mortal danger on their birthdays, while others have villains who celebrate their special day with mayhem and murder.
Birthday horror movies were all the rage in the ’80s for some reason. All but one of the movies in this list were released between 1981 and 1990.
Covering birthday horror movies is apropos (have to throw in a fancy word here and there) for me this month because 1. The Slasher Shack’s birthday is June 6th and 2. my birthday is June 7th. Yay for Geminis! To celebrate, I’m serving up seven slices of happy birthday horror.
7. Spookies (1986)
A young boy runs away from home because his parents have forgotten his birthday. He enters a mysterious mansion filled with birthday decorations and finds a wrapped present. Unfortunately, this gift has a grotesque surprise hidden inside. Later, a group of rowdy teenagers show up at the mansion, and all hell breaks loose.
Spookies is an incoherent mess, a jumbled story with way too many ideas. It throws everything at us – warlocks, werecats, witches, cosmic horror monsters, zombies, and much more. The problem with having this many monsters in one movie is that none of them have enough screentime to be effective.
Most horror films stick to a specific niche or two, but not this one. Spookies is undone by its own ambitions. That said, it is worth watching for fans of bad cheesy ’80s horror.
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6. Madhouse (1981)
Julia (Trish Everly), a young teacher, has a mentally ill twin sister, Mary (Allison Biggers), who has spent her life in institutions. Julia both fears and pities her sister, who treats her with disdain when she visits.
As their mutual birthday approaches, Mary escapes and – with the help of a psychotic dog – partakes in a vengeful killing spree that culminates in a bloody celebration.
Madhouse is an Italian horror film, but not a giallo. It’s influenced by the early American slasher flicks, which is ironic, since those movies were inspired by giallo films. The directing and cinematography are bland compared to its Italian giallo brethren.
The acting isn’t great, and the plot is wildly over the top. Still, the film manages to build some decent suspense toward the end.
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5. Sweet Sixteen (1983)
A beautiful and mysterious newcomer arrives in a tiny Texas town. Her name is Melissa (Aleisa Shirley), and every teen boy in the area is obsessed with her. As Melissa’s sixteenth birthday approaches, the guys who pursue her are brutally slaughtered one by one.
Some townsfolk insist that members of the local Native American tribe are responsible for the murders, while others think Melissa herself is the culprit. If you’re at all familiar with the conventions of slasher movies, it won’t be much of a spoiler to tell you that none of these folks are the killer.
Sweet Sixteen is an underrated ’80s slasher. It has the right balance of creepiness and cheesiness.
Friday the 13th fans will recognize Dana Kimmell. She plays Melissa’s friend, Marci, a year after portraying Chris, the final girl of the third Friday movie. Kimmell pretty much disappeared from movies after this, but she did appear in numerous television roles throughout the rest of the ’80s.
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4. Frankenhooker (1990)
“Want a date? Wanna party? Got any money?” Admittedly, Frankenhooker isn’t a birthday horror movie in the sense that a birthday is central to the plot. But the movie’s inciting incident takes place at a birthday party, so it counts! Besides, this finally gives me a reason to cover this gloriously campy horror comedy on here.
Jeffrey (James Lorinz), a New Jersey scientist, gives his girlfriend’s dad a lawnmower as a birthday present. Unfortunately, the aforementioned girlfriend, Elizabeth (Patty Mullen), gets mowed down in a freak accident.
Desperate to resurrect her, Jeffrey absurdly creates a version of crack cocaine that causes people to explode when they smoke it. After several prostitutes are blown to smithereens, he uses their parts to construct a new version of Elizabeth.
This is the most bizarre adaption of Frankenstein ever made. Mullen is a riot as the title character. Elizabeth/Frankenhooker deserves to be more famous. Plenty of people have cosplayed as her, but I don’t believe there’s ever been an officially sold Halloween costume. Shame!
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3. Happy Birthday To Me (1981)
The adorable Melissa Sue Anderson (Little House on the Prairie) in a horror movie? You betcha! Ginny (Anderson) is one of the most popular girls at her high school. She’s part of an elite clique nicknamed the Top Ten.
As Ginny’s birthday approaches, somebody is killing off the clique one by one, and she becomes the prime suspect. This movie is best known for a creative shish kebab murder and its ridiculous, but undeniably fun, twist ending.
Happy Birthday to Me climaxes with a grotesque birthday party scene that is remarkably similar to the one in Madhouse. Both movies came out the same year, so I don’t think either one is a ripoff, but it is an amazing coincidence. And speaking of 1981 birthday horror movies…
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2. Bloody Birthday (1981)
It’s The Bad Seed, times three! A trio of evil children are born on the same day during a solar eclipse. Their tenth birthday is approaching, but the kids are bored by normal stuff like cake and presents. They have just one birthday wish – blood!
Bloody Birthday features surprisingly effective performances from the kids, who are as vicious and merciless as any adult psycho. Like many serial killers, they keep a memento – a journal of newspaper clippings detailing their dastardly deeds. The ringleader is Debbie (Elizabeth Hoy), a cherubic blond sociopath who effortlessly manipulates everyone.
There are several horror films about murderous kids, but this is, as far as I know, the only one that features a trifecta of ’em. This is a delightfully shameless birthday horror movie that pulls no punches whatsoever. The novelty of the child villains puts this near the top of my birthday horror movies list.
Where to Watch:
1. Happy Death Day (2017)
Happy Death Day is about hard-partying college student Tree Gelbman (Jessica Rothe), who falls victim to a masked psycho and wakes up in a stranger’s bed on her birthday.
Tree is trapped in a cosmic loop. She’s reliving the same day over and over again, each time dying in a different way. With her new love interest, Carter (Israel Broussard), she works to figure out how to break the loop and unmask the Babyface Killer.
This movie creatively applies a horror angle to the plot of the famous Bill Murray comedy, Groundhog Day. Rothe is outstanding as Tree. She is simply perfect for the role.
Its mix of comedy and dark themes puts it at the top of my birthday horror movie list. Happy Death Day was followed by Happy Death Day 2U and an upcoming third installment has been announced.
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Happy Birthday!
