A Quartet of Anti Valentine Movies

Many people want to curl up on the couch and watch cozy romcoms this time of year, but there are plenty of us who feel compelled to do the exact opposite. Here are four anti romance movies that subvert the usual Valentine’s Day film tropes.

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These films portray the dark aspects of romance – adultery, breakups, loneliness, and much more. They explore many of the same themes despite featuring vastly different storylines and directing styles.

Audition (1999)

Shigeharu (Ryo Ishibashi), a lonely widower, is desperate to find a new girlfriend. His film producer buddy tries to help him by creating a fake television audition. Young women line up to try out for the supposed starring role, but what they’re really doing is auditioning to be Shigeharu’s new lady.

The middle-aged widower quickly becomes infatuated with the stunning Asami (Eihi Shiina) and begins to court her. He doesn’t know that Asami has a dark past and a murderous plan for revenge. Enamored with her beauty, Shigeharu ignores red flags, like his inability to reach any of the contacts she lists in her audition resume.

This movie has plenty of stomach-churning moments: feet sawing, strangulation, child abuse, and even vomit consumption are all on the menu. In Audition‘s infamously brutal final act, Shigeharu finally experiences what his would-be bride is truly capable of.

Audition, which is directed by Takashi Miike, has been interpreted in many different ways. It could be a critique of how women are traditionally treated in Japanese culture, or intended as a cautionary tale about men who ignore warning sings and pick the “wrong” girl. Perhaps it’s both. Whatever Miike intended, it’s an unforgettable film about a budding relationship that goes horribly awry.

I’m Thinking of Ending Things (2020)

A young woman (Jessie Buckley) is traveling with her boyfriend, Jake (Jesse Plemons), to meet his parents at their secluded farm. The woman (whose name changes several times throughout the film) is thinking of ending their relationship.

After meeting her boyfriend’s eccentric mom and dad, she’s even more sure that she wants out. Meanwhile, there is an alternate story about an elderly janitor who is cleaning up a school by himself. The two plotlines intersect in the last third of the film.

This is a horror website, and, admittedly, I’m Thinking of Ending Things is more of a dark drama than a horror film. But this twisted anti romance movie, which is based on the novel of the same name, is extremely bleak and morbid, so I think it’s worthy of inclusion.

This is a Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) movie, so you know it’s gonna be weird! As usual, though, there’s a method behind Kaufman’s madness.

I’m Thinking of Ending Things is about nihilism, mental illness, and the profound regret of an old man who can only dream about the life that he might have had, if only he had possessed the guts to pursue it.

Midsommar (2019)

After her sister and parents are killed in an utterly horrid murder-suicide, a young woman tries to escape from her troubles by journeying to rural Sweden. Dani (Florence Pugh), her annoying boyfriend Christian (Jack Reynor), and their insufferably stupid friends attend a pagan festival together.

Of course, it turns out that the folks running the festival are part of a demented cult. Guess who they want to use for human sacrifices?

At its core, Midsommar is about the failing relationship between Dani and Christian. Deep down, both of them know that they should break up, but neither can muster the strength to end their relationship. In the end, the cult decides their fates for them.

Director Ari Aster contrasts beautiful shots of the Swedish countryside with lots of shocking grotesque imagery. If gloriously creative gore isn’t enough to convince you to watch this movie, Florence Pugh’s adorable pouty face will!

Possession (1981)

If you didn’t think this list of anti romance movies could get any weirder, guess again! A spy named Mark (Sam Neill) returns home to Berlin and discovers that his mesmerizingly beautiful wife Anna (Isabelle Adjani) wants a divorce. She’s having an affair, and he’s devastated. Is there any way that he can patch up their marriage?

This seemingly conventional beginning leads into one of the most bizarre and inexplicable movies I’ve ever seen. Possession is a mind-bogglingly weird fever dream filled with hysterical, frenetic performances.

I’m Thinking of Ending Things is incredibly strange, too, but it has clear themes and something to say. Does Possession? I’m not sure. Maybe director Anderjez Zulawski was trying to simulate the disorientation and confusion of someone who discovers that their spouse doesn’t love them anymore?

There’s impressive work to be found here, especially by Adjani. A scene where she goes absolutely berserk inside a subway station will sear itself into your brain. What a grueling performance! I can hardly imagine the mental and physical toll that this movie must have taken on her.

Zulawski directs with plenty of style and atmosphere. The characters live in a curiously empty Berlin, which helps emphasize their neuroses and loneliness. Like the David Lynch film Mulholland Drive, Possession can be enjoyed as a piece of art even though 90% of it is incomprehensible.

Have These Movies Convinced You To Stay Single?

Horror movies are great at exploring the dark side of life. A common theme in most of these anti romance movies is the fear of being alone. The protagonists will do anything to have someone, but they often end up destroying their lives in the process.

On the other hand, I’m Thinking of Ending Things shows the risks of playing it too safe and not pursuing a relationship. Perhaps the search for love is worth it after all, despite the trauma and heartbreak that can occur.

Thanks for reading 4 Anti Romance Movies For People Who Hate Valentine’s Day!